I used to be the kind of person who had a thousand things they liked to do, but no one calling or thing I loved above all else. Sometimes I was envious of people who had callings, because I thought it meant their lives had a clear direction: to follow that calling until the day they die. Most of the time, though, I was pretty content with having a multiple extracurricular activities every night of the week, because I knew I could do any number of things with my life and be pretty happy.
And then a realization came to me last week. The realization that perhaps there is one thing that I love above everything else. The one thing that I never considered dedicating my life to before now.
I also realized that knowing what you love doesn't make your future any clearer. In fact, it makes things more confusing. I still don't know what I'm going to do with my life, or how this realization fits into the plans I have for myself, but I really don't have to. I've got my whole life ahead of me. My middle-aged mother still doesn't know what she wants to be when she grows up, so why should I?
What is clear to me is that no matter what I do with my life, there are a few things that I need to be happy: love, creativity, and the sense that whatever I'm doing is helping other people in some way.
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