Happy Singles Awareness Day!

The Top Five Reasons I HATE Valentine's Day

1. It's an excuse for all the big commercial companies to feed off of the impulses of Americans by urging them to spend tons of money on chocolate and flowers and jewelry
2. Lovey Dovey Mushy couples making googly eyes at each other make me want to puke!! So those of you (yes.. I'm aware that there are only a whopping 4 people who follow my blog... one of which I happen to know is married, because she's my mother, but anyway) out there who have a significant other need to be sympathetic to those of us who are SINGLE on Valentine's Day!
3. It's almost impossible to find any junk food that isn't pumped with gobs of artificial food coloring for the entire month of February
4. There was this fundraiser at our school where people would "dedicate" a song to another person (of course they had to pick from a list of only, like, FIVE songs, which sucks) and this teacher at our school SANG and DANCED to "My Girl" by the Temptations during lunch to the entire Eighth Grade. And, see, when other people do embarrassing things to themselves, it makes me feel really uncomfortable, so you can imagine...
5. My two least favorite colors (pink and purple) are everywhere

I've been humbled

Jeez. Weeks have gone by and still.... nothing too talk about....
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OOH! Wait!! You know that "MASH" thing that I talked about a few weeks back? Well, I just got back from serving my first MASH. That's right. The great freak herself got assigned to MASH. Well, I think I'll spear you all that deep, spiritual crap about how it has changed my life and the way that I see the world... But it WAS probably one of the most humbling moments of my life, you know, being shoved in with all the other rejects of my school. Yeah.

STUPID SCIENCE QUESTION!

An egret eats insects swept up by cattle grazing. This is an example of which of the following:
a. parasitism
b. synthesis
c. commensalism
d. mutualism

This question was on our science test today, and frankly, I find it to be ridiculous. Do you know why I find this question ridiculous? Because it implies that we have been taught what the heck an egret is, or that we might know SOMETHING that could POSSIBLY lead us to the correct answer, but in reality, the situation is in fact the complete OPPOSITE. Our science teacher deliberately told us that we DIDN'T have to memorize examples of parasitism, commensalism, and mutualism! In fact, even if I DID decide to memorize examples from our science textbook, just for the heck of it, I WOULD STILL NOT KNOW WHAT THE HECK AN EGRET IS!!!!!! AARRG!!!!!

Sorry. I really needed somewhere to vent, and this seemed more appropriate than actually telling this to my science teacher :)

I DONATED MY HAIR

Yeah... I know I don't normally really talk about MYSELF on this blog; I mostly just complain endlessly about politics and the screwed up educational system (I am crossing my fingers that this will change with the "new era"), but whatever. Today I'm talking about myself.

So I happen to have INCREDIBLY THICK hair. It's not like "oh, you're hair's so 'pretty'" because it's thick; it's more like "oh my god that girl has triangular hair" because it's thick. And before 3:45 today, it was not only triangular, but also halfway down my back!!!

(Now you get to use your deductive reasoning to figure out what happened at 3:45 today. HINT: looking at the title might help)

A warm, fuzzy theory

Why is it that, in spite of the fact that we are in the largest economic recession since the Great Depression, the only movies that are currently theaters are either idiotic, horrific, or DEPRESSING!!!! But mostly DEPRESSING!!!!!!

I have a theory: You know how America's salesman, merchandisers, and advertisers (and this counts for the majority of the population) feed off of the consumerism of the average American citizen? Well, my theory is that the people in the production business are deliberately advertising movies as happy-go-lucky movies (ahem, Marley and Me) so that people who are currently DEPRESSED about their lives can see these movies to lift their spirits, in spite of current economic (and education and health and military and global) problems, but instead give them a movie that depresses them even FURTHER, so that the aforementioned average American citizen feeds their depressed soul with compulsive eating and shopping, so that America's salesman, merchandisers, and advertisers, can profiteer off of their emotionally insecure state.

Doesn't that theory just give you warm fuzzies?

Pep Rallies

I find it amusing that the entire eighth grade at my middle school can deliberately coordinate themselves to do things. For instance, today at our pep rally. At our school, we have these "cheer cans". When the can is open, you scream, when the can is closed, you shut up. It's a pretty simple concept. But because the eighth graders at my school are, you know, eighth graders, they decided to do the OPPOSITE. And I'm not surprised that some people in my grade thought to be difficult; it's the fact that they got the ENTIRE eighth grade to cooperate that I find amusing.

I know; you're wondering- do I participate in these events?? However, I do not. That is because I am non participatory. No, instead I just watch from the very back row in the bleachers, clutching to my quads (a fifty-five pound marching instrument that is carried by two straps of metal on your shoulders) for dear life, hoping and praying that they do not fall down the stands.

Martin Luther King Day today, the Inauguration of the first black president tomorrow

Today I felt the urge to write about something not-so-disturbing. And I just happened to realize something pretty interesting: Today is Martin Luther King Day, and tomorrow is Inauguration Day. As my mom put it: "What better way to honor the father of the civil rights movement than with the Inauguration of the first black president".
Now, I don't really have a political party, because I'm only a kid, and since I hate when other kids share their uneducated political views (entirely based upon their parents'), it would be a bit hypocritical of me to do the same, but I DO think it's pretty nifty that we've finally got a black president, over forty years after Martin Luther King gave his "I have a dream..." speech.

Guilty Pleasures

Wow. Okay, so my mom just read to me an entry from Jeniffer Crusie's blog, Argh Ink. The blog said that "we use our tastes to define us and how limiting and ultimately dishonest it often is because we choose to advertise the things that reflect who we want to be more than who we really are." These are apparently called "shadow faves" (although I really just think this is another take on the whole "guilty pleasures" thing). So here are my five "shadow faves":

1. Even though it goes against pretty much every moral value I have, and I think it's a reflection of how chauvinistic and patriarchal American society is, I am addicted to America's Next Top Model. Maybe it makes me feel superior, I don't really know.
2. I prefer Hershey's chocolate to Godiva
3. I have a Jonas Brothers' song on my iPod. And it's not on the "25 most played" list because of my little sister. *wink wink*
4. Even though I claim to be this huge Leo Tolstoy fan, I was never actually able to get through War and Peace. ;)
5. I can't really think of another one, but I think my last four are horrible enough to make up for it. :)

So, what are your "shadow faves"??

Expository Writing Samples - I HATE them

Yesterday, in English, we had to do YET ANOTHER "expository" writing sample. I HATE expository writing samples. And you know why? Not because I hate writing (because I love writing. duh) or because I hate expressing myself (again, duh) or because I don't think the school should gauge people's progress as a writer, but because EXPOSITORY writing samples don't fulfill ANY of those needs. They limit a person's ability to express oneself, and so many people aren't able to write within the cookie-cutter needs of an expository writing sample, that people are wrongfully discouraged as writers!

Whew. Thank goodness that's out...

MASH - and why it's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of

Um... yeah. Sorry (to the nonexistent person reading this) that I haven't posted in a while. I actually don't have any excuse, unless you count having a completely unremarkable life as an excuse, which is kind of stupid, because most of the people on this blog aren't blogging about incredible, life changing events. Instead they continue endlessly about how empty and not incredible their lives are. I mean really? Who cares that some random person was inspired by the shape of the taco shells at taco bell? It's completely insignificant, and although you might be able to make some point that it's an example of how prominent genetic engineering in the American culture has become, because that's TRUE. I mean, I'm surprised we aren't all suffering from some crazy disease in which you have limbs growing out of the side of your head, because something like 85% of the food the average American ingests weekly is genetically modified...Wow; I digress quickly, so MOVING ON...

Our school started this thing called Mandatory Afterschool Study Hall (MASH). And it is the STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD OF. It's basically detention for those of us who don't do our homework (that would be me). Apparently, NCLB (the idiotic program that our current president started that doesn't actually help the children that are being "left behind") requires homework to "show a mastery of the skill", so when those of us who don't do our homework get a zero for not turning an assignment in, it screws up the whole guage. So my question is- why can't we just NOT have homework?

Exams are OVER!

exam- (n) A cruel and unusual form of punishment in which students are forced sit in a classroom for 3 hours, taking a test that covers materials which haven't been covered (i.e. our MATH exam!)

Why do we even have to take exams anyway? What is their purpose? I mean, we already have state standardized tests to make sure we're learning everything we're supposed to, so who knows what the heck is the purpose of a mid-term, huh? Well... do ya, punk?

I mean, exams are such a prominent part of our lives that they have hundred-year-old traditions that go with them. For instance, Harvard's primal scream. That's Right. They run around naked, screaming right after winter exams. I swear, I think taking exams at the most difficult school in the country must have some effect on their frontal lobe, because no sane person I know would do that. (although I must admit, many of the people I know aren't sane)

Reasons Our Educational System Suck:

1. They don't pay teachers enough. Seriously. My teachers should get paid MILLIONS of dollars for having to deal with being responsible for educating a bunch of adolescent punks who don't care about their grades, but instead, they get paid something around twenty bucks an hour. That's what people who work at the GROCERY STORE get paid!

2. The kids who are barely holding on to the course curriculum are in the same classes as people who are pulling their hair out from boredom. This is SO wrong! The students who are behind continuously build up a massive inferiority complex, and the advanced students have to wait five years to learn anything! It's a no-win situation!

3. You don't have any variety. If you want to do something (like band, for instance), then that's ALL you get to do, and you have to stick with it for the rest of your public school career. So, since I'M in band, I can't just decide to do Art next year, because I would have had to do it as a prerequisite.

I would love for America to just go towards the whole European school system, where they start sorting kids into the "college" and "vocational" tracks at an early age, because it seems to work for them, but it's just kind of sad, you know? What about those kids who are put on the vocational track at eleven, and then they decide later when their sense of self has increased, that they want to college - well they can't! They're stuck! It's just a no-win situation, you know?

I have a lethal weapon!

Yes. This lethal weapon is also known as a "blog". Unfortunately, the people who thought of "blogs" did not think of people like me. Because know I can use this blog to write every bizarre thought that I feel like sharing with the (zero) people who will read this! Mwahahahahaha!