22 January 2009

A warm, fuzzy theory

Why is it that, in spite of the fact that we are in the largest economic recession since the Great Depression, the only movies that are currently theaters are either idiotic, horrific, or DEPRESSING!!!! But mostly DEPRESSING!!!!!!

I have a theory: You know how America's salesman, merchandisers, and advertisers (and this counts for the majority of the population) feed off of the consumerism of the average American citizen? Well, my theory is that the people in the production business are deliberately advertising movies as happy-go-lucky movies (ahem, Marley and Me) so that people who are currently DEPRESSED about their lives can see these movies to lift their spirits, in spite of current economic (and education and health and military and global) problems, but instead give them a movie that depresses them even FURTHER, so that the aforementioned average American citizen feeds their depressed soul with compulsive eating and shopping, so that America's salesman, merchandisers, and advertisers, can profiteer off of their emotionally insecure state.

Doesn't that theory just give you warm fuzzies?

Pep Rallies

I find it amusing that the entire eighth grade at my middle school can deliberately coordinate themselves to do things. For instance, today at our pep rally. At our school, we have these "cheer cans". When the can is open, you scream, when the can is closed, you shut up. It's a pretty simple concept. But because the eighth graders at my school are, you know, eighth graders, they decided to do the OPPOSITE. And I'm not surprised that some people in my grade thought to be difficult; it's the fact that they got the ENTIRE eighth grade to cooperate that I find amusing.

I know; you're wondering- do I participate in these events?? However, I do not. That is because I am non participatory. No, instead I just watch from the very back row in the bleachers, clutching to my quads (a fifty-five pound marching instrument that is carried by two straps of metal on your shoulders) for dear life, hoping and praying that they do not fall down the stands.