Sleeping Beauty needs to wake up

I mean really. If you were supposed to die if you pricked your finger on a spinning wheel, don't you think you'd be a little pissed when you found out your parents never even frickin TOLD you? I, personally would be pissed that they couldn't trust me to avoid spinning wheels. It's not like curiosity would make her want to touch one. People know that guns kill you, and therefore don't touch them. It's not that hard. Sleeping Beauty needs to cut the naive act and stop romanticizing everything!!! :D ranting is fun :D

Why must guys be guys?

I hate guys so much. So very very much. The ones you like won't give you the time of day and the ones who do cinch onto you and refuse to let you out of their sight. I hate guys with a burning passion. I really do. And yet I love them at the same time. Why must I be female?????

EUROPE!!!!

Okay, my overall rating on a scale of one to ten is 9.5. I deduct the point five points purely for my dad being pick pocketed in Paris - otherwise, it was totally awesome!!!!!
I'm not really sure how I should organize this... I guess I'll start with some things I found interesting about Europe.
Okay...
- The people in Rome in their suits and dresses on motorcycles and Vespas. You have not really had a good laugh until you have seen a man in an Armani suit on a Harley Davidson Sportster.

- Oh, I laugh just thinking about this one. We went to the Piazza de Spagna/ Spanish Steps (I was the only one who actually CLIMBED the Spanish Steps :P) and got gelato at this place around the corner, and there was this dark chocolate ice cream called VIAGRA... I am not even kidding. And I mean, you would think that everyone would find this unappealing in an ice cream, but apparently not, because EVERYONE got that flavor... well, I guess that's MY family for you.

- Purple is apparently THE color in Rome, because all the clothing stores and street vendors have ALL purple stuff on display... I kept thinking of Hannah (Goins - as if that needed specification) and her hundred-day purple thing.

- I don't think I saw a SINGLE three-row car the entire time I was in Europe... and Smart Cars are like, the car to have. I think the ratio of Smart Cars to all other cars was about equivalent to the ratio of SUVs to all other cars here... they're THAT popular.. plus, in all the parallel parking areas all over the cities, the Smart Cars park sideways, like, perpendicular to the sidewalk rather than PARALLEL, entirely defeating the purpose of PARALLEL parking.

- The tour guides, man. The tour guides were AMAZING. Illyria, the tour guide we had for the Colosseum, the Vatican, and the Roman forum, was probably my favorite. She was REALLY enthusiastic about Roman history and wanted everyone else to be as excited about it as she was. And, you know, listening her say "Seeeenatore" about fifty times wasn't all that boring, either. Oh, and there was this other tour guide we had on the top of Mt. Vesuvius... You couldn't understand anything he said except "160 kilometres level up", but he was pretty funny with his Louis Vuitton purse, designer sunglasses, Ferrari baseball cap and beer belly.

- St. Peter's Basilica. I thought that it was mostly going to be the Sistine Chapel that I liked in the Vatican, but it turned out that having it described by Illyria was better than actually being in it, because it was really crowded and loud, and everyone's flashes were going off, but St. Peter's Basilica was really something to see. It's so... I don't know... magnificent, astonishing, breath-taking, amazing, incredible, impressive, can you tell I'm using Microsoft synonym generator. But really. My mom said she got TEARY when she walked through the doors. (Not that it's all that difficult to make my mother teary, but still)

Wow. Have you noticed a pattern? All of these things were in Rome. Whatever, I LOVED Rome.

Sticky Notes

I love them. So very much. And now, I have this calendar made by "Post-It" that is MADE for covering in sticky notes!!!! It makes me so happy!!!! Plus, I have like every color of post-it note that they make, so my calendar will be very colorful!!!! :)

Purple Turbans

HEY! Want to know where the largest collection of people over sixty in my town is? Hmmm... Let's see.. I KNOW! The writers workshops at the library! And want to know which thirteen-year-old was surrounded by said blue hairs at the writers workshop at the library on Saturday morning? Hmmm... Let's see... THAT'S RIGHT! ME. I was. And I totally should have known, you know, when I registered for this class, because they were kind of hesitant about letting a thirteen-year-old in the class. Of course, I thought by "adults" they meant cool artistic types in their twenties, thirties, and fourties - NOT people in their EIGHTIES writing HISTORICAL NOVELS ABOUT 1940S GIRL SCOUT CAMPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT THEY WENT TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm writing a book!

Yes, this will most likely amount to nothing, as I have only three chapters written, and that happens to be like a record for me, because I often get some really awesome idea and then start writing and then after like a few pages I get really bored... but whatever. Because suess what the name of my book is!? Day in the life of a freak!!! That's right. I decided to write a semi-autobiographical book about a freak similar to myself!!! I, personally, think that the three chapters that I have actually written are almost mediocre, too, so check it out!!! Here's the link: http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/hermionebookworm/401906/
And it would be totally awesome if you (five nonexistent) guys could review it!!! Just leave them as comments or whatever, and if, magically, I happen to get a response, I pinky promise that I will jump up and dance!!! :)

The new title of my blog: "Sorry I haven't posted... I digress"

*flinches from flying vegetables* Yeah, yeah, I know I haven't written on this thing in like two months, because I've been super busy (I mean, seriously. I've got softball practice mondays, TWO HOURS of percussion at the high school and my sister's softball games on tuesday, percussion practice at MY school on wednesday, creative writing club and softball games on thursdays, and the fun RESUMES on friday and through the weekend with various festivals and appointments. I hardly have time to BREATHE!) But, anyway, I have most of today to do nothing, because I didn't feel like going on the field trip. (Actually, I just never turned in the permission slip, but saying "I didn't feel like it" sounds better). Plus, this is one of the few websites I actually have access to through the school. But anyway, I'm posting, aren't I? Not that I really need to say sorry for not posting, because really, how many people read this? I supposedly have five followers, but seeing as four of those five people are pretty much obligated to follow this blog (as they are related to me and/ or are my friends), five doesn't really amount to anything. Oh my gosh... I just realized that nearly all of my blogs start with that same introductory paragraph (you know, "I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while"... digresses into something that has little relevancy). I have absolutely no originality!!! I should just retitle the name of this blog "Sorry I haven't posted.... I digress" or something like that. I mean, seriously.

ʇ,uɐɔ noʎ ʇǝq ı puɐ - uʍop ǝpısdn ǝdʎʇ uɐɔ ı

¡¡¡¡¡pooƃǝʌoן ɐunן ǝʞıן ןǝǝɟ ı (: ¡uıɐƃɐ dn ǝpısʇɥƃıɹ ǝʇıɹʍ oʇ ƃuıoƃ ɹǝʌǝ ɯ,ı ʞuıɥʇ ʇ,uop ı ˙uʍop ǝpısdn ʇxǝʇ ɹnoʎ uɹnʇ uɐɔ ʇɐɥʇ ǝʇısqǝʍ sıɥʇ ɟo ʍouʞ oʇ pǝuǝddɐɥ ʇsnɾ puǝıɹɟʎoq s,puǝıɹɟ ʎɯ ˙sǝʎ ˙ɐɥɐɥ

Algebra

So I'm sitting here, supposed to be working on my math homework, and instead, I feel the urge to complain about how much Algebra sucks. Because it does. It really sucks. I know maybe a couple people who are reading this might disagree with me, because, I don't know, they're just little people who have already taken Algebra and feel the need to let it go to their head and rub it in my face, even though they can't really do that, unless they comment on my post, which they probably wouldn't do, because I am taking the time to point out that to do that would be arrogant and idiotic, so, unless someone feels the urge to comment on my post purely to contradict me, which i don't think they will, because really? the only people who read this are my mom and a couple of my friends, and this girl from like, California, or something, who i don't know and probably isn't going to read this post because they probably just read this thing once and added it to their subscriptions thingie and never looked at it again, because they thought it was too time-consuming, and they're probably not so happy because I don't appreciate my anonymous fans the way, say, my friend Johnny Cash (you know who i'm talking about) does and WOW... Again with the stupid digressing thing!!!!!

oW... I hurt all over

Wow... I just come to the halting, eye-opening, enlightening, stunning, overwhelming, astonishing, mind-altering, breathtaking, staggering, overpowering (don't you just love my command of the english language?) realization that I am incredibly out of shape. In fact, i'm so out of shape, that drumming for too long hurts my wrists. That's right; practicing the drums for two straight, intense hours has somehow made me sweat. And now, because not only because of the drumline thingie at the high school, but also softball practice, EVERY SINGLE MUSCLE IN MY BODY ACHES. I am in so much pain right now, that it has taken me half an hour to type this, because my the muscles in my wrist hurt so much. So the next time you're thinking about how horribly out of shape YOU are, just think back to the poor little freak, sweating away while practicing on a 12" rubber drum pad.

******** High School, HERE I COME!!!!

And I'm so excited!!!!! And I'm also scared about being in classes with the freaky people with excessive facial hair!!!! (and yes, I am fully aware that the people reading my blog already know me, and probably aren't going to be able to stalk me based on where I go to high school, but as my family is very strict about publishing personal information on the internet, I'm not supposed to tell you that I go to ******** high school :P)

Okay, so as strange as it may seem that they're putting us through all of these meetings and assemblies about high school SEVEN MONTHS before we even GET to high school, we are in the midst of high school registration, and I am so pumped for next school year! (See! they've got me all excited, but now I have to WAIT seven months!)

The person sitting next to me is an idiot

The person sitting next to me, Tim, is a perverted chauvanistic idiot. The fact that he "doesn't hate women; loves women" is simply evidence of what an idiot he is. My stomach is also growling, and my back is killing me because I've spent the last week doing back strength exercises for drumline next year - in which I will carry a fifty-five pound instrument by a metal strap on my back - often for hours at a time. The fact that the person next to me is saying that I won't get onto the drumline because there has never been a girl to get onto the drumline is even FURTHER proof that he is a chauvanistic idiot.

Pretty In Pink is Amazing

And not just because the main character happens to share my first name. I also LOVE Duckie... he's like the best character in the entire movie. And I think the scene where he's singing and dancing in the record store along to "Try a little tenderness" is the BEST scene in the entire movie... possibly even in Movie history (actually, I take that back. The scene where Heath Ledger sings along to Frankie Valli in 10 Things I Hate About You is the best scene in movie history... Does anyone else see a recurring theme here? I love movies where guys sing)
I do happen to agree with "Princess Mia", however, about how the dress Molly Ringwald wears to the prom kind of looks like a sack, but it was still a good scene, so I can get over that.
Anyway, my 4 followers, You need to go see this movie. As I said in the title of this blog, Pretty In Pink is Amazing.

Happy Singles Awareness Day!

The Top Five Reasons I HATE Valentine's Day

1. It's an excuse for all the big commercial companies to feed off of the impulses of Americans by urging them to spend tons of money on chocolate and flowers and jewelry
2. Lovey Dovey Mushy couples making googly eyes at each other make me want to puke!! So those of you (yes.. I'm aware that there are only a whopping 4 people who follow my blog... one of which I happen to know is married, because she's my mother, but anyway) out there who have a significant other need to be sympathetic to those of us who are SINGLE on Valentine's Day!
3. It's almost impossible to find any junk food that isn't pumped with gobs of artificial food coloring for the entire month of February
4. There was this fundraiser at our school where people would "dedicate" a song to another person (of course they had to pick from a list of only, like, FIVE songs, which sucks) and this teacher at our school SANG and DANCED to "My Girl" by the Temptations during lunch to the entire Eighth Grade. And, see, when other people do embarrassing things to themselves, it makes me feel really uncomfortable, so you can imagine...
5. My two least favorite colors (pink and purple) are everywhere

I've been humbled

Jeez. Weeks have gone by and still.... nothing too talk about....
...
...
...
OOH! Wait!! You know that "MASH" thing that I talked about a few weeks back? Well, I just got back from serving my first MASH. That's right. The great freak herself got assigned to MASH. Well, I think I'll spear you all that deep, spiritual crap about how it has changed my life and the way that I see the world... But it WAS probably one of the most humbling moments of my life, you know, being shoved in with all the other rejects of my school. Yeah.

STUPID SCIENCE QUESTION!

An egret eats insects swept up by cattle grazing. This is an example of which of the following:
a. parasitism
b. synthesis
c. commensalism
d. mutualism

This question was on our science test today, and frankly, I find it to be ridiculous. Do you know why I find this question ridiculous? Because it implies that we have been taught what the heck an egret is, or that we might know SOMETHING that could POSSIBLY lead us to the correct answer, but in reality, the situation is in fact the complete OPPOSITE. Our science teacher deliberately told us that we DIDN'T have to memorize examples of parasitism, commensalism, and mutualism! In fact, even if I DID decide to memorize examples from our science textbook, just for the heck of it, I WOULD STILL NOT KNOW WHAT THE HECK AN EGRET IS!!!!!! AARRG!!!!!

Sorry. I really needed somewhere to vent, and this seemed more appropriate than actually telling this to my science teacher :)

I DONATED MY HAIR

Yeah... I know I don't normally really talk about MYSELF on this blog; I mostly just complain endlessly about politics and the screwed up educational system (I am crossing my fingers that this will change with the "new era"), but whatever. Today I'm talking about myself.

So I happen to have INCREDIBLY THICK hair. It's not like "oh, you're hair's so 'pretty'" because it's thick; it's more like "oh my god that girl has triangular hair" because it's thick. And before 3:45 today, it was not only triangular, but also halfway down my back!!!

(Now you get to use your deductive reasoning to figure out what happened at 3:45 today. HINT: looking at the title might help)

A warm, fuzzy theory

Why is it that, in spite of the fact that we are in the largest economic recession since the Great Depression, the only movies that are currently theaters are either idiotic, horrific, or DEPRESSING!!!! But mostly DEPRESSING!!!!!!

I have a theory: You know how America's salesman, merchandisers, and advertisers (and this counts for the majority of the population) feed off of the consumerism of the average American citizen? Well, my theory is that the people in the production business are deliberately advertising movies as happy-go-lucky movies (ahem, Marley and Me) so that people who are currently DEPRESSED about their lives can see these movies to lift their spirits, in spite of current economic (and education and health and military and global) problems, but instead give them a movie that depresses them even FURTHER, so that the aforementioned average American citizen feeds their depressed soul with compulsive eating and shopping, so that America's salesman, merchandisers, and advertisers, can profiteer off of their emotionally insecure state.

Doesn't that theory just give you warm fuzzies?

Pep Rallies

I find it amusing that the entire eighth grade at my middle school can deliberately coordinate themselves to do things. For instance, today at our pep rally. At our school, we have these "cheer cans". When the can is open, you scream, when the can is closed, you shut up. It's a pretty simple concept. But because the eighth graders at my school are, you know, eighth graders, they decided to do the OPPOSITE. And I'm not surprised that some people in my grade thought to be difficult; it's the fact that they got the ENTIRE eighth grade to cooperate that I find amusing.

I know; you're wondering- do I participate in these events?? However, I do not. That is because I am non participatory. No, instead I just watch from the very back row in the bleachers, clutching to my quads (a fifty-five pound marching instrument that is carried by two straps of metal on your shoulders) for dear life, hoping and praying that they do not fall down the stands.

Martin Luther King Day today, the Inauguration of the first black president tomorrow

Today I felt the urge to write about something not-so-disturbing. And I just happened to realize something pretty interesting: Today is Martin Luther King Day, and tomorrow is Inauguration Day. As my mom put it: "What better way to honor the father of the civil rights movement than with the Inauguration of the first black president".
Now, I don't really have a political party, because I'm only a kid, and since I hate when other kids share their uneducated political views (entirely based upon their parents'), it would be a bit hypocritical of me to do the same, but I DO think it's pretty nifty that we've finally got a black president, over forty years after Martin Luther King gave his "I have a dream..." speech.

Guilty Pleasures

Wow. Okay, so my mom just read to me an entry from Jeniffer Crusie's blog, Argh Ink. The blog said that "we use our tastes to define us and how limiting and ultimately dishonest it often is because we choose to advertise the things that reflect who we want to be more than who we really are." These are apparently called "shadow faves" (although I really just think this is another take on the whole "guilty pleasures" thing). So here are my five "shadow faves":

1. Even though it goes against pretty much every moral value I have, and I think it's a reflection of how chauvinistic and patriarchal American society is, I am addicted to America's Next Top Model. Maybe it makes me feel superior, I don't really know.
2. I prefer Hershey's chocolate to Godiva
3. I have a Jonas Brothers' song on my iPod. And it's not on the "25 most played" list because of my little sister. *wink wink*
4. Even though I claim to be this huge Leo Tolstoy fan, I was never actually able to get through War and Peace. ;)
5. I can't really think of another one, but I think my last four are horrible enough to make up for it. :)

So, what are your "shadow faves"??

Expository Writing Samples - I HATE them

Yesterday, in English, we had to do YET ANOTHER "expository" writing sample. I HATE expository writing samples. And you know why? Not because I hate writing (because I love writing. duh) or because I hate expressing myself (again, duh) or because I don't think the school should gauge people's progress as a writer, but because EXPOSITORY writing samples don't fulfill ANY of those needs. They limit a person's ability to express oneself, and so many people aren't able to write within the cookie-cutter needs of an expository writing sample, that people are wrongfully discouraged as writers!

Whew. Thank goodness that's out...

MASH - and why it's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of

Um... yeah. Sorry (to the nonexistent person reading this) that I haven't posted in a while. I actually don't have any excuse, unless you count having a completely unremarkable life as an excuse, which is kind of stupid, because most of the people on this blog aren't blogging about incredible, life changing events. Instead they continue endlessly about how empty and not incredible their lives are. I mean really? Who cares that some random person was inspired by the shape of the taco shells at taco bell? It's completely insignificant, and although you might be able to make some point that it's an example of how prominent genetic engineering in the American culture has become, because that's TRUE. I mean, I'm surprised we aren't all suffering from some crazy disease in which you have limbs growing out of the side of your head, because something like 85% of the food the average American ingests weekly is genetically modified...Wow; I digress quickly, so MOVING ON...

Our school started this thing called Mandatory Afterschool Study Hall (MASH). And it is the STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD OF. It's basically detention for those of us who don't do our homework (that would be me). Apparently, NCLB (the idiotic program that our current president started that doesn't actually help the children that are being "left behind") requires homework to "show a mastery of the skill", so when those of us who don't do our homework get a zero for not turning an assignment in, it screws up the whole guage. So my question is- why can't we just NOT have homework?